When I was younger, my fears tended to define me. I was filled with insecurities which stemmed from my shame.
Shame about what?
Mostly about my sexuality, but also my body. I grew up in a Christian household. I was taught the Bible from a very young age. I was only about 8 years old when I accepted Christ as my savior. But my life took a drastic turn 2 years later.
At 10 years old I started noticing my attraction to men. This was confusing and terrifying. My friends were all attracted to girls, while I found the male physique much more interesting. Having grown up in the church my whole life I heard over and over that gays went to hell. But why? I had only really met two gay people and both of them were really nice!
The thoughts swilled in my head, “how could God not love them? Am I one of them? Am I gay? Does God still love me?” The next 8 years I would restle with these questions and more.
I was also a very skinny kid. I felt weaker than the other guys. And even though I wanted to get stronger, I never tried. I never tried because I was afraid of failure. I already had shame weighing down on me about my sexuality. This was just one more part of the equation.
I had to eventually face my fears, my shame and my doubt. They had ruled my life for much to long.
Before I give away my whole story I’ll leave you with one lesson.
Don’t walk away from your fears.
The only way I survived this long is because I learned how to face my fears. Sometimes alone, but more times than not I had help. So that’s my inspiration for the week, face your fears, remember you’re not alone.
I will continue to post weekly. Over the next few weeks I plan to tell you my whole story. Including the very ugly parts. Through my experiences I hope to provide you with inspiration to make it though whatever crap life brings you. And not to just “make it through,” but to become a winner, a CONQUERER!